Post by unknown on Feb 29, 2008 23:16:31 GMT -5
Okay, this is more like a tester/preview then anything else. I need to see if what i've written so far would get someone's attention, long enough for them to be intersted in completing at least the first chapter ( said chapter unfinished, I mean come on, it's only two pages long right now) So if that's allowed, i'll be posting what I have so far here. Please tell me what you liked/ hated about the story.
It is comedy, the "hero" of the story hasn't been revealed yet, mature theme ( if you call picking your nose mature ), and the villages/ nations all reach from the time periods of the midevil ages to futuristic, pending on my mood/ what I want to make fun of at the moment. I also suck at discriptions, so be warned.
Hope you enjoy it.
Yo-hO. yO-H-o.
“Hey, Joe.” Two men stood in front of a, almost, rust covered iron gate, the only entrance or exit placed into the stone wall built around the village. Joe, as he had been named, glanced at his similarly armored clad co-worker. The man’s armor slightly glowed a mix-turn of red and orange due to the flickering flames that had been lit on the torches next to them earlier that evening. These two men, had the unfortunate luck of being given the graveyard shift. It was called not the graveyard shift due to the time at night that they stood guard over the gate, but rather, due to the chance that one was likely to attacked and killed. Random raids from bandits and nightly assaults on the little village by other little villages. Personally, Joe thought that if one nowadays wanted to take a village by surprise, they might as well attack in broad day light. Everyone expected an invasion at night, they all seemed relax during the day; a perfect time to strike. That, however, was just his own opinion, another one being that his co-worker was annoying.
“Yes, Frederick, what is it?” He answered. Grudgingly, of course. It was one thing to have the graveyard shift, it was another to have it with Frederick, who’s conversations only seemed to draw out the shift rather then speed them up.
“ Have you ever wondered about the stars...?” Fredericks iron helm turned from him and towards the newly revealed night sky. It had been raining all morning and evening, the cloudy sky just now starting to separate. Revealing with it the vast stars and crescent moon that shined so beautifully onto the surrounding forest. Pity, that such a thing happened at such an [in convened] time. “ Like, why their up there..” Even if Joe couldn’t see Fredericks eyes, he knew that the man was staring up at the sky.
“ Stars are luminous balls of plasma that shines due to the nuclear fusions in it’s core that releases energy to traverse it’s interior and radiates into outer space. The light was released several million years ago, nothing you need to concern yourself with at this time, and if you ask me that again I’m going to shove my sword so far up your arse that you’ll put the ‘I’ll feel that one in the morning’ to new, record heights.” Okay, so Joe wasn’t the most witty of the guards, he wasn’t paid to be. He was paid to stand here, and keep an eye out, quietly, for any potential threat. And when said threat showed up, he was to assault it and die with honor like the cannon folder he truly was.
Now if only Frederick could figure this out.
Frederick stood there, silently for a moment, still glazing up at the stars. A silence Joe welcomed, but knew would be short lived. Honestly, Joe was a nice guy, really, it’s just that when your asked the same, f**king, question every night shift you tend to be a little....agitated. He took these brief moments to calm himself of his anger..
“ Are you sure they aren’t firefly’s?”
“ Yes, Frederick, I am very sure they aren’t firefly’s.” They had made it a rule, official two weeks ago, that no one was to strike down Frederick while on shift. You were allowed to strike him down after your shift was over, but until then you had to endure it. The only thing he was looking forward tonight after his shift, better then going home to his wife. It’s been awkward between the two ever since he found out that she had been cheating on him with the neighbor...hood. She still makes great pie thou-
It was then that Joe was knocked unconscious, via being hit in the head with a rather large rock.
[Next scene.]
Fun, a term that lacked with Kassy Mack’s busy schedule. Having to work as the captain of the guard and sister to twenty other siblings, it wasn’t an easy life. Was she the oldest? Hardly. The fifth to be born, the first becoming leader of the village, the second currently on guard shift with Joe ( more on that later), the third having an affair with Joe’s wife, and possibly other women around the village, and the forth eloped, being arrested two months later for illegally smuggling elastic rubber bands from one village to another. Not only did she have to deal with this, and the other siblings antics, but also with a very hostile working environment.
Being one of the only two women on the force, it made things...heated. Or not, but the boys still tried anyway. Take, for example, Joe, who thought to grab her ass this evening while they were walking to the guard station, was now on guard duty with her older brother, Fred. She loved her brother dearly, but he seemed to have trouble making friends. Mainly because he wouldn’t shut up. She thought, when she was younger, that if she sewed her brothers mouth shut, then maybe he’d have some friends. She accomplished this, actually, but as soon as their mother found out she removed the thread. The wounds have healed since then, and that was all in the past.
Let us, instead, move on to her only female guard, Lilly Sextit. She’s the village sleeper. She had literally slept with every man ( Yes, even Fred, though Kassy heard she gagged him with a sock ) in the village, and some of it’s women. All for free, too, not like she was worth anything though. If it wasn’t for the fact that she had such skill at wielding pole arms, Kassy wouldn’t have kept her as a guard, or a lover.
Did I happen to mention that Kassy’s a lesbian?
Details and descriptions, something this scene has been lacking. For all those who care, Kassy had been walking on a muddy path, leading through the rows of stone houses that made up the village. Lights could be seen through the thin windows, those that had yet gone to bed still tending to their own business. There were light posts, of course, already lit with flames and the firefly’s fluttering around them. A crescent moon appearing in the night sky, yellow, white, blue, and even one red star shining above. It warmed her, just a bit, even in this chilly breeze. Having expected it to be cold, she left house with a thick brown coat, fur sewed onto the edges of it, a cotton pair of pants, gloves, and a simple cotton cap. Her hair being tied back and hidden within said cap. I know, I know, not the most creative descriptions of a character, but I find it easier this way so stop your complaining and lets get back to the story, shall we?
The night was quiet, save for the light thumping she heard when she past by a newly weds house. She made her way quickly past that house. Nothing, it seemed like, could ruin this small piece of heaven, this relaxation she was feeling, as she walked down the village paths. Which made it all the worse when she was suddenly hit in the head with a rather large rock...
[Next scene.]
Thats it...
In the end, it's going to be the main pairing of...
Lesbian ( turned bisextual) Kassy and the "hero" who was grown in a test tube, and carries some Beaver DNA ( he originally had a bevers tail, but through surgery they changed it to a monkeys tail. Just because they could.
) Said beaver hybrid is the one knocking everyone out at the moment...to accomplish his noble mission of finding a wife. XD
They get together, but only as f**k buddies. >.>;;;; Got tired with the whole love at first adventure that saves the world kind of deal....<.<;;
The [] words in the paragraphs that aren't indicating next scenes are words that my spell check wouldn't register and are the closest I could get to spelling the word I wanted.
So, um, yeah...<.<;; *hopes he doesn't get in trouble for this*
It is comedy, the "hero" of the story hasn't been revealed yet, mature theme ( if you call picking your nose mature ), and the villages/ nations all reach from the time periods of the midevil ages to futuristic, pending on my mood/ what I want to make fun of at the moment. I also suck at discriptions, so be warned.
Hope you enjoy it.
Yo-hO. yO-H-o.
“Hey, Joe.” Two men stood in front of a, almost, rust covered iron gate, the only entrance or exit placed into the stone wall built around the village. Joe, as he had been named, glanced at his similarly armored clad co-worker. The man’s armor slightly glowed a mix-turn of red and orange due to the flickering flames that had been lit on the torches next to them earlier that evening. These two men, had the unfortunate luck of being given the graveyard shift. It was called not the graveyard shift due to the time at night that they stood guard over the gate, but rather, due to the chance that one was likely to attacked and killed. Random raids from bandits and nightly assaults on the little village by other little villages. Personally, Joe thought that if one nowadays wanted to take a village by surprise, they might as well attack in broad day light. Everyone expected an invasion at night, they all seemed relax during the day; a perfect time to strike. That, however, was just his own opinion, another one being that his co-worker was annoying.
“Yes, Frederick, what is it?” He answered. Grudgingly, of course. It was one thing to have the graveyard shift, it was another to have it with Frederick, who’s conversations only seemed to draw out the shift rather then speed them up.
“ Have you ever wondered about the stars...?” Fredericks iron helm turned from him and towards the newly revealed night sky. It had been raining all morning and evening, the cloudy sky just now starting to separate. Revealing with it the vast stars and crescent moon that shined so beautifully onto the surrounding forest. Pity, that such a thing happened at such an [in convened] time. “ Like, why their up there..” Even if Joe couldn’t see Fredericks eyes, he knew that the man was staring up at the sky.
“ Stars are luminous balls of plasma that shines due to the nuclear fusions in it’s core that releases energy to traverse it’s interior and radiates into outer space. The light was released several million years ago, nothing you need to concern yourself with at this time, and if you ask me that again I’m going to shove my sword so far up your arse that you’ll put the ‘I’ll feel that one in the morning’ to new, record heights.” Okay, so Joe wasn’t the most witty of the guards, he wasn’t paid to be. He was paid to stand here, and keep an eye out, quietly, for any potential threat. And when said threat showed up, he was to assault it and die with honor like the cannon folder he truly was.
Now if only Frederick could figure this out.
Frederick stood there, silently for a moment, still glazing up at the stars. A silence Joe welcomed, but knew would be short lived. Honestly, Joe was a nice guy, really, it’s just that when your asked the same, f**king, question every night shift you tend to be a little....agitated. He took these brief moments to calm himself of his anger..
“ Are you sure they aren’t firefly’s?”
“ Yes, Frederick, I am very sure they aren’t firefly’s.” They had made it a rule, official two weeks ago, that no one was to strike down Frederick while on shift. You were allowed to strike him down after your shift was over, but until then you had to endure it. The only thing he was looking forward tonight after his shift, better then going home to his wife. It’s been awkward between the two ever since he found out that she had been cheating on him with the neighbor...hood. She still makes great pie thou-
It was then that Joe was knocked unconscious, via being hit in the head with a rather large rock.
[Next scene.]
Fun, a term that lacked with Kassy Mack’s busy schedule. Having to work as the captain of the guard and sister to twenty other siblings, it wasn’t an easy life. Was she the oldest? Hardly. The fifth to be born, the first becoming leader of the village, the second currently on guard shift with Joe ( more on that later), the third having an affair with Joe’s wife, and possibly other women around the village, and the forth eloped, being arrested two months later for illegally smuggling elastic rubber bands from one village to another. Not only did she have to deal with this, and the other siblings antics, but also with a very hostile working environment.
Being one of the only two women on the force, it made things...heated. Or not, but the boys still tried anyway. Take, for example, Joe, who thought to grab her ass this evening while they were walking to the guard station, was now on guard duty with her older brother, Fred. She loved her brother dearly, but he seemed to have trouble making friends. Mainly because he wouldn’t shut up. She thought, when she was younger, that if she sewed her brothers mouth shut, then maybe he’d have some friends. She accomplished this, actually, but as soon as their mother found out she removed the thread. The wounds have healed since then, and that was all in the past.
Let us, instead, move on to her only female guard, Lilly Sextit. She’s the village sleeper. She had literally slept with every man ( Yes, even Fred, though Kassy heard she gagged him with a sock ) in the village, and some of it’s women. All for free, too, not like she was worth anything though. If it wasn’t for the fact that she had such skill at wielding pole arms, Kassy wouldn’t have kept her as a guard, or a lover.
Did I happen to mention that Kassy’s a lesbian?
Details and descriptions, something this scene has been lacking. For all those who care, Kassy had been walking on a muddy path, leading through the rows of stone houses that made up the village. Lights could be seen through the thin windows, those that had yet gone to bed still tending to their own business. There were light posts, of course, already lit with flames and the firefly’s fluttering around them. A crescent moon appearing in the night sky, yellow, white, blue, and even one red star shining above. It warmed her, just a bit, even in this chilly breeze. Having expected it to be cold, she left house with a thick brown coat, fur sewed onto the edges of it, a cotton pair of pants, gloves, and a simple cotton cap. Her hair being tied back and hidden within said cap. I know, I know, not the most creative descriptions of a character, but I find it easier this way so stop your complaining and lets get back to the story, shall we?
The night was quiet, save for the light thumping she heard when she past by a newly weds house. She made her way quickly past that house. Nothing, it seemed like, could ruin this small piece of heaven, this relaxation she was feeling, as she walked down the village paths. Which made it all the worse when she was suddenly hit in the head with a rather large rock...
[Next scene.]
Thats it...
In the end, it's going to be the main pairing of...
Lesbian ( turned bisextual) Kassy and the "hero" who was grown in a test tube, and carries some Beaver DNA ( he originally had a bevers tail, but through surgery they changed it to a monkeys tail. Just because they could.
) Said beaver hybrid is the one knocking everyone out at the moment...to accomplish his noble mission of finding a wife. XDThey get together, but only as f**k buddies. >.>;;;; Got tired with the whole love at first adventure that saves the world kind of deal....<.<;;
The [] words in the paragraphs that aren't indicating next scenes are words that my spell check wouldn't register and are the closest I could get to spelling the word I wanted.
So, um, yeah...<.<;; *hopes he doesn't get in trouble for this*
